The Danger of Passive-Aggressive Men: The Trap They Set and the Targets They Choose

A submissive man isn't always passive-aggressive but a passive-aggressive man needs to be perceived as a nice guy (it's a covert defense tactic in PA men). Submission to him is a weakness as he lacks the nuances of vulnerability. So he must always preemptively appear as the generous giving victim to all the bad circumstances of life while also demanding to be regarded as a nice guy who never wishes or does harm to another. He must always perceive himself and have others perceive him as a  nice guy.

This creates the perfect trap for his victims because only the victim experiences the abuse. And if the victim speaks out the perpetrator has a built-in social network to defend him against the crazy woman who couldn't appreciate such a nice Wonderful man. Therefore PA believes his power and strength are in victimhood. A PA is never at fault or accountable for the bad in his life it's always something or someone else fault. Additionally, once confronted with evidence most supporters remain on his side and continue to enable. Because 1 it reinforces their security within the group supporters and 2 it protects their psyche from having to acknowledge that they've been duped and manipulated by the perpetrator and not the victim.  So frequently the supporters of the PA double down on their stance because his image holds weight in how they perceive themselves. And they become his enablers and flying monkeys.

PA men are inherently emotionally immature with both underdeveloped concepts of their feminine and masculine traits. Because of their limited comprehension, expression, and projection. They only accept and comprehend surface-level demonstrations of what they believe each one should be. They have a very black-and-white idea of what men and women are supposed to be and any deviation from their limited understanding is wrong. Their lack of empathy is why they have so much contempt for women that deviate from their predetermined object.

They view women as objects with inconvenient pointless needs and could only see women in relation to themselves. He condemns the feminine and views himself as superior and therefore the thing that gives her life meaning and value. PA men loathe women with mature feminine expressions because they deny their own which stunts their development emotionally. However; they seek this woman out as their ideal target because they believe if they could suffocate the feminine out of her they could kill what they have projected onto her which is the contempt for himself. Thus they target strong powerful women to destroy which gives PA men a sense of power and control (because that's all they really care about).

Thus destroying this female becomes a validating experience for him because he gets to watch himself finally destroy the part of himself he hates since this is done through projecting he avoids acknowledging himself and walks away with what he believes is a victory which is the destruction of the feminine and confirmation that the feminine is in fact weaker than man and is thereof unworthy of genuine consideration. And once he does successfully break her he could taunt her, discard her and call her crazy if she dare speak out.

His feminine attributes dominate his life but in an immature way ie agreeable women (agreeable men more often than not a nice guy) which is what he ends up perceiving women as thus his contempt for women but at the same time entitlement to women due to his perceived similarities. This man is angry he isn't a woman because according to him only women have access to societal acceptance of femininity which is untrue. The healthy feminine is expressed in both healthy men and women in varying degrees.  But since he's emotionally underdeveloped any expression of femininity becomes distorted and ends up violating genuine femininity. He lacks the insight into understanding that it's the expression that makes him pathetic and not the feminine traits themselves.

He projects his immature femininity onto women and abuses their healthy expression with their femininity because he contempt the feminine I himself and wants to inflict pain on what he perceives as weak or less than others. He will claim that he's a feminist and in touch with his feelings and emotions with absolutely no evidence of having the capacity for emotional reciprocity. If any genuine issues pertaining to women's emotional state or feelings he will redirect focus on bringing attention to all he does for you. He is unable to validate, empathize hold space and protect her peace because he loathes her for expressing what he believes is weakness. He puts emphasis on the material to demonstrate that he is a man because the immature masculine only comprehends the provider portion of masculinity as monetary. When the woman expresses a need for more emotional reciprocity he demeans, invalidates, and attacks her because she becomes a threat to his fragile ego. And essentially he places her into a state of reactivity why? Because when a man perceives an outside coming into his domain he fights and the intruder will either fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This PA man is now able to demonstrate that the feminine is in fact deserving of contempt due to the reactive expressed. And therefore he doesn't believe he has to change because "all women are crazy and unstable" he continues to lie to himself into believing that she's at fault because he provides financially (which an immature man believes to be the extent of offering) and therefore he fulfills the duty of a man. Any expressed need for a man to provide in ways of her that finances are met with seething disgust because the man views it as complaining because of course the immature man believes any form of communication is by definition criticism.  He possessions himself wrongfully and instead of connecting through communication, he uses her attempts to connect through communication as opportunities to control her. Why? Because a PA man lacks the capacity to control and self-regulate himself, therefore, making him a danger to women. He can't hold space for you because you are an invader to him.  A man like this will force a woman into her masculine energy which includes areas of finances. However, when she makes more money fragility will be happy because he gets to punish the woman and make her suffer like a man (because this man is always a victim) and fearful. Why fearful? Because a woman is able to provide more of what he believes to be all of the masculinity. Now he will hate her masculine expression because it threatens his perception of himself and justifies exploiting her financially (punishing her for challenging his manhood) not only that he will continue to reject her femininity by saying things like it you're going to act like a man don't nag like a bitch while also deciding that he financial contribution does in fact make her his equal. This creates a heightened sense of entitlement to her body. Because now this woman isn't a gold-diggers accord to him because she’s bringing home a paycheck. He sees her as being the ideal in this sense male because she mirrors believes what he believes is his best asset his money which makes her an equal. His sense of equality creates a sense of entitlement to her body because of they’re the same he doesn't have to earn the right to have sex he could just have it because there equals now. If the woman rejects sex he believes it's his right to control and attack into submission because in his eyes they’re equal and a man doesn't hesitate to injure another man in the name of self-defense. To him this action symbolizes dominating, forcing, and controlling both the masculine and feminine in her which neutralizes her humanity in his eyes. Because if he could take what he believes belongs to him from her through what he believes is masculinity and physical dominance he could also then violate the creature that he dominated sexually without remorse. Because of the PA nice guy who is always giving to receive. So if a woman is able to out give he feels threatened and if a woman doesn't give him what he feels he's owed he feels entitled.